Odeya from Gush Etzion: I came to couples’ counseling with the feeling that it was doomed to fail. My husband refused to join me, saying he didn’t understand why we should go. His attitude, his lack of sensitivity, and the feeling that nothing was going to change accompanied me to the counseling session. Despite that, I went, because my trusted friend recommended it. I knew that I was making a last attempt to save our marriage. During our session, I learned that the issue is mine, because everything is subjective – including the problems I seemed to be having with my husband. The way I defined my husband’s actions were actually my own definitions, and my constant attempts to change him were futile. I left the session with the new understanding. I chose to stay in the relationship, chose to live with him. It is not his fault that I wanted him to be different. This revelation changed many things. Two months later, he began to notice a difference, and asked that we go together to counseling. Since then it’s all changed…
